Beauty Closet, Paul Mitchell Lavender Mint Moisturizing Body Butter

If I were smart, I'd smarten myself up before I arrived there, but I am invariably frazzled and toting hideous, inappropriate luggage. I stand apart from the luggage when checking in—so as to appear less uncool—but then worry someone will think it's "unattended luggage" and sound the alarm. I inch back toward it. When I'm just close enough that it's clear to anyone that the foul luggage does indeed belong to me, a glamorous operative—Sienna Miller, Jimmy Fallon, etc.—appears to witness the horror. This time it was Adrian Grenier—which was kind of meta, especially as he was accompanied by an entourage (not the entourage). They glanced my way and quickly averted their eyes. I'm blaming it on the luggage, but there was also my airplane outfit (Why can no designer make airplane outfits? Comfortable, chic, and million-layered? Including a shoe/sock solution?); my airplane hair; and my airplane face (ultra-high SPF plus ointment-like moisturizer, rubbed on repeatedly for six hours in a hypoxic environment).

My luggage did go further downhill, splitting open to reveal its tangle of underwear and pajamas—thankfully, only once I was safely inside my room. This tube of lavender-mint butter fell out amid the tangle, and I seized upon it. It's the perfect thing for a defrazzling foot massage. A very L.A. moment followed: So minty and lavendery and refreshing is this thick, satisfying cream that the refreshment percolates throughout your body—even where it has not been applied. I felt a decided cooling on the back of my neck. My flushed face calmed slowly.

When I returned to the lobby a half hour later, the back of my neck was still tingling; I was fortified; I was smartened up. What glamour I had to offer was in full force—with no one there to witness.

PAUL MITCHELL LAVENDER MINT MOISTURIZING BODY BUTTER, $13, PAULMITCHELL.COM FOR LOCATIONS