I don't think of myself as a fan. I will not "become a fan of … " on Facebook. I collect nothing. I "follow" nothing. I'm just … not a fan. Except for Howard Stern, who I listen to every day. I only realized I was a Howard Stern fan when I stood next to him (and Beth, his wife, for those not in the know) at an event and found myself too intimidated to eke out the words "Hey now!" or even "Mr. Stern, I'm a huge fan." I've kicked myself ever since. I love Howard Stern, and I want him to know it.

Then there I was at a perfume launch for Ange ou Démon Le Secret—a scent based on the idea that we all have many more dimensions than we give ourselves credit for—and there was the scent's spokesmodel, Uma Thurman. Several opening gambits went through my head: "Hey! I take your brother's yoga class!" No. "You know, Uma, we met once on a snowy trail near my house. You were pregnant and complimenting my then-baby-now-teen!" Um, no.

I told her I admired her work; true. "Hey!" she said. "We've got the same necklace!" I have written about this necklace ad nauseam in Lucky already, so I will spare you; suffice to say it is beautiful and unusual and I wear it every day. "I wear it every day!" Uma said.

"Me too!" I squeaked. Or did I gush?

I was wearing a chunky sweater inappropriate to the chic surroundings. "I love that you're wearing a chunky sweater!" said Uma. "I'm always freezing!"

"Me too!" I squeak-gush-trilled. And then I could say no more. I love the scent—it is citrusy yet sophisticated and feminine and unique, and I'm now wearing it, like the necklace, every day. And I loved her. But it was all too much for me. I had not known that I was a huge Uma Thurman fan; I was unprepared for that information, and I simply had to leave right then and there.

You don't think of Uma Thurman as sharing a fan base with Howard Stern. But that's the way people are—ange ou démon, n'est-ce pas?

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