Pre–World Wide Web, if you went to Europe and you were a student (not an @richkidsofinstagram type, but a grungy budget scrounger), you carried a huge paperback bible: Let’s Go Europe. Wherever you went, it told you places you could afford. It 
was ugly and heavy but essential. We loved Let’s Go Europe but felt it missed a vast demographic, one legendary for a particular brand of travel on the cheap: sailors on leave. Let’s Go Sailor would chronicle dive bars, houses of ill repute, opium dens … you get the idea.

This marine blue lip balm leaves a faint but perceptible blush—as if you were just naturally a sexier person. Were I the marketing director for Let’s Go Sailor, I would quickly orchestrate a tie-in.

The blue-balm people might resist at first; its ultra-moisturizing smoothness and translucent indigo bullet are more yacht-off-Biarritz, it’s true. But I’d convince them: The seedy always adds the perfect je ne sais quoi; there’s no high without the low.

Lipstick Queen Hello Sailor, $25,