Dear Kate,It must be weird when the world is your SWF. Well, except for the whole having millions and millions of dollars part, but whatever.
But can you blame us? NO. If you weren't you, YOU would want to be Kate Moss. Just like us, you'd douse yourself in Kate Moss perfume and pile on the Kate Moss-endorsed YSL lipstick and the Rimmel mascara and wear Kate Moss for Topshop hotpants to slag around the second floor of the METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART looking like a Francis Bacon-curious fille de joie.
So you understand why we're upset about the new hair care brand that you developed with your hairdresser/business partner, James Brown (our dentist is named George Michael—COINCIDENCE?!).
It's called Scandalous, and there's a Rock Chick Wave Spray, Fabulously Flirty Dry Shampoo, and so on. British girls are buying them at Boots, because they're UK-exclusive; meanwhile, American girls are buying icepicks. You know, to GOUGE OUT OUR EYES.
Because it's UNFAIR, Kate. We want EVERYTHING you-related the very SECOND it exists. WWD assures us that a US launch is planned for next year. We hope that's true...or we might do something weird to your dog. JOKING! That was just in the movie. You don't even have a dog! DO you have a dog? No. Right?
Anyway.
Love (you, obsessively),
The Lucky Beauty Editors
(the creepy ones)
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