Fantastic Advice from Long-Haired Loonies

Knocking feralchildren.com—a database of kids raised by wolves (it still happens!)-from the #1 spot on my list of creepy websites: longhaircommunity.com: the homepage for those who dream of someday being able to sit on their own hair, then brag about it on the internet.

There's dozens of sites like it, all bursting with fervor. Not unlike showoff-y, Facebook-loving Disney stars, members named "OhNoTangles!" and "WiccaVixen" post saucy photos of their glorious splint-end-free manes (their word, not mine!). Gothy makeup is popular. Flatirons are not. Everyone is on suspicious-sounding "Hairtopia Vitamins", and there are DIY-conditioner recipes involving castor oil and organic bananas.

Members are a mixed bunch: whimsical ("I feel like a mermaid and I love braiding my hair like a medieval goddess"), poignant ("It was growing by itself and I didn't notice it at first, but then people started telling me 'your hair is getting longer' and then I knew my hair was growing"), even male ("EAT LOTS OF PROTEIN AND BEWARE OF RAT'S NESTS KNOTS LOL").

Admittedly, however, there were excellent tips for getting long hair:

1) Avoid hot tools and super-hot showers as much as possible.

2) Trim regularly (split ends are the enemy).

3) Don't brush hair while wet, and detangle only with your fingers.

4) Deep condition; sometimes switch it up with a hot oil treatment.

5) Sleep with on satin pillowcase with your hair a velvet scrunchie topknot (awesome).

6) Attend the Renaissance Fair annually to meet up with your online posse for Medieval role-playing games and a Wiccan moon ritual. (JOKING! I have no idea where they hang out.)

You can also buy these products by a company called "Long Hair Lovers", if so inclined.

Do YOU have any hair-growth tips?

—Cat Marnell, associate beauty editor