What Are the Rules for Bangs?

In 2007, I had a love affair with bangs. No. Let me start over. In 2007, I had a tempestuous, year-long dalliance with bangs, where I liked the bangs a lot more than the bangs liked me. In the end, we broke up: I am not an indie rocker girl at Lollapalooza; I am not Zooey Deschanel. Having just watched 500 Days of Summer, though, I hear the siren song of bangs again--and while I don't think I'm going to cut them, I felt I'd share some general bangs ground rules (and feel free to disagree, amend, add to the list, etc):

1) They gotta be thick. None of that early-90s anemic fringe business.

2) With VERY few exceptions (Audrey Tautou, I am talking to you), bangs look best when they skim just below your brows (exhibit A, Zooey, above). Which becomes annoying after, like, a week, which leads to...

3) Trimming your bangs yourself--a treacherous road that often leads to lopsided results. Angle the scissors upwards and a little diagonally, and GO SLOWLY. NO, REALLY. SLOW DOWN. And also check in with your stylist to see if he/she will trim them for free (hey, worth a shot).

4) Wash them every day. If that means dunking your face under the bathroom sink faucet while the rest of your hair is in a ponytail, so be it. Oily bangs are the scourge of all hairstyles (exhibit B, Pete Wentz).

Did I miss anything?