Save My eBay Auction!

You know how there are people who are good at eBay and people who suck at it? I'm very much the latter. To illustrate: Last weekend my husband cleaned out his closet and I (swept up in a moment of energy? inspiration? idiocy?) decided we must sell it all! On eBay! We'll get rich! We can travel! We'll move to Madrid! And get a boat! Even though there are no boats in Madrid! You understand.

The small mountain of clothes taking over our bed had the good stuff: Steven Alan, Loro Piana, Marc by Marc, what have you. It's not that my husband is gay, it's just that he's worked at GQ for many years and has accumulated lots of schmancy clothes. Our deal was this: I take the pictures and deal with the post and he has to lug the pile to the post office in seven days. So I write the "Description"--I think I used the word "great" a hundred and eighteen times.

You want to hear humiliating? Last I checked it was up to $.99. I can't even say it was "up to" $.99 because that's where it started. Somewhere the clothing auction gods are laughing at me. I can't bring myself to check again. I have two days and 18 hours to save my finances, my dignity, and my marriage. The item number is 190336452453. I'll lend you five bucks. Please?

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