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Joan Rivers Reads Me My Rights

They--meaning like coaches, therapists, those sorts of types--tell you it's not good to bring your work home with you, but it's just simply unavoidable for me. When channel surfing, I will inevitably end up on an infomercial or shopping channel hawking beauty products and won't be able to blink. They mesmerize me--even though I've probably already tried the product, I get sucked in and almost mindlessly pick up the phone and say, "Yes! I think that robot that shapes eyebrows while giving me a pedicure and singing jazz standards will change my life." (This hasn't been invented yet, but if it existed, I'd buy it.)
The Right to Bare Legs corrective cover-up, $29.99, righttobarelegs.com

Right now, I have my finger on the dial to order Joan Rivers' (we like her here) hilariously named The Right to Bare Legs, a "corrective-concealer formulated to camouflage leg or body imperfections." Most of the women who call in on QVCor appear on her infomercial are definitely older than me, but I have transparent, pale skin, so any bump or bruise shows up with extreme intensity, and I'm clumsy so there are a lot of them (which I inherited from my dear mother, who broke her leg slipping on a worm--truth). Plus, I got attacked by a coral reef in the spring that left a nasty little mark on my leg. I'm not even kidding --I'm getting this lotion! Has anyone tried it yet?

What's with All the Spam in the Comments Section?

We're sure that you've noticed the flood of spam in the comments section lately. Spammers beware--we are completely on top of it. As we figure out a way to put a stop to this madness, we ask you for your patience and that you don't stop leaving your own comments, because we love hearing from you!