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Halloween Costumes from Your Closet

There's nothing—nothing!—worse than a trip to the costume store the week before Halloween.

Battling rabid shoppers and scouring picked-over goods (what, you didn't want to be a slutty nurse, sized child's medium?) only leads to dropping $60 on something you'll never wear again. And, sigh, you could've bought a pair of jeans for that amount of cash .

But maybe there is something worse. Like having no costume at all, which, karmically enough, is often the exact consequence of bypassing the Halloween retail madhouse.

Except this year. We're determined to avoid both dismal fates, simply by doing something we do very, very often: shopping our closet.

Hence the below costumes, comprised entirely of pieces lurking in many closets already (no crafting involved, promise!). All you need to do is unearth them, then consider your Halloween costume done and done.

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Jockey

If You Have: An argyle sweater, white jeans (jeggings hands down preferred, in this case), and riding boots.

Bonus Points: If you're really, really short...or really, really tall. (This is my cousin's standby costume; he's 6-foot-11.)

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Toddlers and Tiaras castmember

If You Have: A party dress (either in a loud color, or with a full skirt), some pearls and a girly pair of heels—preferably patent.

Bonus Points: For ringlets in your hair and Pixie Stix in your purse.

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Pan Am Stewardess

If You Have: Office staples (pencil skirts, blazers, white button down shirts), pumps and a silk scarf.

Bonus Points: For carrying mini packets of peanuts.

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Morton Salt Girl

If You Have: A yellow dress (or yellow raincoat), flats, little socks, and an umbrella.

Bonus Points: If it's actually raining. You'll be the only partygoer whose rain gear doesn't interfere with her costume.

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Dazed & Confused senior girl

If You Have: A white t-shirt, jean shorts, high knee socks and old school sneakers.

Bonus Points: For Sharpie-ing the word "SENIOR" on paper and taping it to your tee. (Okay, that's kind of necessary.) Points for a plastic whistle around your neck, then.

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Blossom, from Blossom

If You Have: Remnants of the '90s (jean jackets, backpacks, overalls, floral dresses, chunky cardigans). Or, for that matter, anything Charlotte Ronson or Madewell has done as of late. And a hat: preferrably a floppy one that you can tape a flower to.

Bonus Points: For unabashedly saying "Whoa!" all night, even when it gets really, really annoying.

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