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This JoeyBra Is Also Sort of a Handbag

Two University of Wisconsin students just patented the JoeyBra, which in theory should make bra stuffing a social norm. With underarm pouches that hold keys, credit cards and even iPhones, the JoeyBra's supposed to solve the "too much stuff and nowhere to put it" problem. I sorta get—or, at least, I get its genesis.

I have clutches that hold a card case, phone and keys, but never all at the same time. I have jackets that serve as waiting rooms for my stuff's final homes (especially those ones with side slit pockets, which spill their contents all over restaurant banquettes and cab seats). From time to time, I also have third party purses (see: best friends' larger bags, boyfriend's pants pockets), but they typically have an alarm bell for when to wander off. And it's always set to the moment when I want my lip stain back.

Those things all need a solution, but I'm not sure the JoeyBra is it, even if it were comfortable and discreet. I don't doubt that it'll keep stuff safe and secure all night. What I do doubt is whether I'd ever take out my ID or answer a phone call without having to run to a bathroom stall or create a diversion. I'm not sure what would be more awkward and surprising for my friends: watching me pull ninja throwing stars from a thigh holster a la Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, or swipe my iPhone from under my armpit like it's totally normal.  And, also, what's a JoeyBra-wearer to do if she also wants to wear, say, sleeves?

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