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If This Bag Were a Person: Christian Louboutin Edition

If this bag were a person, it would be your bratty little cousin. Studs, velvet, leopard AND a gold bow to tie it all together? You know the type—it’s the one who always steals your lipstick out of your bathroom cabinet and then denies, denies, denies until you see her wearing it the next week. This bag hasn’t yet learned the rules of “discretion.” It always asks for wine at family dinners (even though it is years from being legal) and talks loudly about how this boy and that boy and his brother and his uncle call it to go out, sending your aunt into a fit about how the bag is far too young to be dating. It tells on you when it walks in on your making out with your boyfriend and trips you the second you leave the bathroom. This bag is the first one to point out when your bra strap is showing—and she always says it with a smirk. Maybe it’s because it just hasn’t matured yet, that it takes pleasure out of making you feel less put-together then you normally are. Because your older cousin would never do that, right? No, she probably would. Clearly, it’s genetic.

Sara Zucker writes about fashion at Sarazucker.com and does social media for NARS Cosmetics. Her closet is a mess.

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