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School Supplies for the One Percent

As a kid, my idea of reckless school supply shopping was sneaking a few Lisa Frank folders and Gelly Roll glitter pens in with the requisitely oppressive No. 2 pencils, plastic protractors and floppy reams of binder paper.

But now some fashion designers (Lanvin, Margiela, Louis Vutiton) and home goods experts are churning out dictionaries, pencils and notebooks way more eye-catching and expensive than anything I could've found in the aisles of Staples. It's kind of like Gwyneth GOOP-ified the whole genre, and it's awesome—or at least hilarious—but either way, it definitely, definitely makes my past scented eraser splurges look tame.

Just think of the things I could've been asking for instead: whether glossy ($300 silver staplers) or gimmicky (pencils printed with the names '90s sitcom characters), these new school supplies are totally unnecessary—which is, of course, exactly what makes them so necessary. (Or, maybe, just fun to look at.)

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The Miranda Priestly version of a Five-Star notebook.

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For the woman who buys $8 juices: an almond-oil gluestick.

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To match your orange Birkin bookbag, of course.

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I'd be selective when sharing them.

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There are 1,000 staples included, so it's basically a steal.

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Doubles as Thomas Crown-inspired decor.

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It almost makes Moleskines seem grungey.

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Just a matter of time until Blue Ivy is snapped carrying one of these.

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The inevitable doubletakes might be the best part.

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If the Real Housewives came out with desk supplies instead of nine million different clothing lines, they'd look like this.

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Not expensive, but so unnecessary they're a luxury.

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Never dog ear a page again.

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And you don't even get a full 12-inches.

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Emily Post would approve.

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When regular Crayola won't do.

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If you never considered office supplies coffee table decor, think again.

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If Madewell made pens, they'd look like this. And have striped or leopard print erasers, probably.

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Treat your pencils like fine jewelry. (Gwyneth would.)

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Indulge your Downton Abbey obsession.

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Let's be real: highlighting was always more of a fun thing than a learning exercise anyway.

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How to outdo the girl with the latest model MacBook.

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I'd bet Kanye has a drawer full of these.

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