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If This Bag Were a Person: Stella McCartney Edition

If this bag were a person, it would be the girl that you really, really want to like, but also kind of hate because it's so perfect. Everyone says how great this bag is, how it gives back to the community and volunteers its time to homeless shelters and saving pandas and planting trees. There’s just something about it, though, that feels a little too earnest. Loosen up a little. Enjoy the fresh air without thinking about how many pollutants you’re inhaling.

Of course it’s vegan, but why not eat a cookie every once in a while and keep your comments about the dangers of gluten to yourself? Also? It’s annoying that you’ve never seen a hair on this bag’s head out of place. As in, Barbie-still-in-the-box hair. And its button-ups are perpetually starched, stain-free and never gape at the bust. That last note is the one that grinds my gears the most—where is it finding its button-downs?! Nevertheless, the mere fact that you dislike that bag feels wrong because it is just too good. It is possible to be too good, right? Bueller? It is out there helping the world and you’re sitting on your tuchus enjoying a box of Rolos while watching re-runs of Hart of Dixie. (Don’t even act like you don’t watch that show.) I suppose we all have our flaws. Now go out there and recycle that box, m’kay? It’s cardboard.

Woven faux leather shoulder bag, Stella McCartney, $1,325, my.luckymag.com

Sara Zucker writes about fashion at Sarazucker.com and does social media for NARS Cosmetics. Her closet is a mess.

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