A Night At the Museum
A drunken banker is a singularly unappealing sight. A restaurant full of them—all vying to unsubtly demonstrate the vastness of their respective bonuses, bellowing daring obscenities in the manner of a group of
10-year-olds testing the limits of a new babysitter, haranguing the sommelier with ever-more-novel fine-wine knowledge—is an experience that only an very determined gold digger could love.
Why a drunken, obscenity-spewing Ozzy Osbourne or Pete Doherty is less repellent to me, I cannot say.
Why I thought a high-end steak house in midtown would be a place where I might enjoy dinner—again, who can say?
But here is what I learned:
1. If you are newly rich but miss the TGIFridays aspect of lower-echelon living, go to a pricey midtown steak house.
2. Wagyu steak tastes like—steak.
3. Large portion = large bonus = large __. This may provide a clue in the continuing mystery of our national obesity crisis.
4. Female bankers, drunken or not, do not appear to frequent steak houses. The only two women besides me in the entire restaurant looked un-banker-ish (no suits), and both suffered terribly from hair damage—brittle broken ends, that orange-peach shade that occurs only when both your hair and your colorist have completely thrown in the towel, flyaways in all directions like fireworks. I had to sit on my hands to keep from extracting the tube of Frizz-Ease Secret Weapon from John Frieda from my makeup bag.
Studio 54–ish, the restroom featured several perfumes, a canister of hairspray, and some hand lotion lined up by the sink. The sad truth about my control issues: I hid the hairspray behind the trash basket, and I shoved the Frizz-Ease Secret Weapon into the lineup and left it—my gift to the poor women stuck with a bunch of Gordon Gekko wannabes for dinner companions.
—Jean Godfrey-June, beauty director
This is truly hilarious, thanks for the tip.
What a great way to spread some good beauty karma around. Some savvy guerilla marketer will now probably blanket all the tony bathrooms in town with product.
JGJ - I just saw Feb's issue and your piece on Sally H's hair product for wavy hair. I've also read your book and know that you don't blow dry, so what's the secret? I'm interested in trying it so please tell more!