Bangs Gone Wrong
When will I learn that it's never a good idea to cut my own hair? The answer, it seems, is never: Last week, I massacred my bangs in my bathroom mirror. I was going for Brigitte Bardot (aren't we all?) and wound up somewhere between Tonya Harding and Dakota Fanning.
How did it happen, you ask—particularly to a beauty assistant with access to the world's most glamorous, expensive, and sulky hairstylists? I blame my powerful and astoundingly misguided inner monologue: "This will make me look better," I thought for the 9,000,000th time, fishing a pair of kitchen scissors from a drawer full of dive-bar matchbooks and duck sauce, entering the same masochistic trance that causes my tragic overplucked eyebrows.
Now the thing is to let them grow—and style them to death to disguise what I've done. I'm going for the slicked-back pompadour ponytail thing, rocked admirably by such notables as Hilary Duff, George Washington, and a slew of celebrity babies. To achieve this, I love Bumble and bumble Classic Hairspray and tons of mini bobby pins. It's sort of painful but it works.
—Cat Marnell, beauty assistant
I think your bangs look cute. For serious.