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If Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel agreed to dress me one morning, it'd mostly go well. I'd stand soggy-haired in my towel as she grabbed black jackets, simple silk button-downs and menswear-inspired trousers from my closet, laying out each option on my bed. Yes, yes, yes, all good choices.
Then, she'd turn toward my jewelry box, pull out several strands of pearls and twist them together to make one tangled statement piece. "Nice," I'd say. "Wish I thought of that sooner."
The trouble wouldn't start until dear Coco, famous hater of showing one's knees, would discover my drawer of shorts in disgust. Gathering the whole lot up in her (tweed-covered) arms, she'd make her way toward my trash can. When I stopped her, she'd swear at me in French and I'd Google translate my argument while dodging the cropped pants being lobbed at my head.
I'd like to think that after several minute of broken Fran-glish and hand gestures, I could convince Chanel's founder how important shorts really are. That the right pair, on the right person has the same miraculous transformative properties as any pencil skirt or well-tailored suit; that it will make their legs look so long and their butt look so toned that no one will notice a few knobby joints. Utterly converted, she'd let me help her find the best cut for her frame (I'm guessing Bermuda—I've heard she was tall) and we'd spend the rest of the day eating macarons while browsing culottes online.
But my desire to spread the gospel of shorts doesn't stop and end with late designers who are physically impossible to meet. Should you, too, have a hang up about exposing your lower half—whether it be your knees, hips or legs—I've got a way to solve it. Click through the slideshow below for your most flattering style now.