How To Wear A Jacket

Senior Digital Projects Editor

Something is rotten in the state of New York. More precisely, something is rotten in the city of New York and, even more precisely—at New York Fashion Week. I'm not sure when it began, or who is confusing everybody, but it's pure madness in the streets. Madness!

I'm speaking of the jacket epidemic.

What epidemic? The one where people everywhere seem to have completely forgotten the purpose of jackets, let alone how to wear them. Throngs of show-goers and street style subjects have been spotted with their jackets simply resting on their shoulders or, in some extreme cases, on one shoulder.

Being a crusader for the everyman, I have taken it upon myself to re-educate the fashion community before the epidemic becomes a pandemic and we're all infected. It could be worse than Contagion.

First, let us begin with an extremely simple diagram of a jacket's parts. The parts labeled "1" and "2" are what we call "sleeves". These are basically like tunnels, but for your arms! Area 3 is a pocket; you can put keys, cell phones and snacks in there. Finally, area 4 is for everything else.

Areas "1" and "2" are where people seem to be getting messed up. Remember: these are tunnels for your arms. I know tunnels can be scary, but you have nothing to fear! Simply plunge your hands through to the other side and your arms will be comfortably safe and warm.

What's that? You don't want warm arms because it's 90 degrees outside? Then don't wear a jacket.

Comments