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These are the Mockwells. Click through to see what kind of gifts they buy for the holidays.

The Gift: All the trappings for a highfalutin eight person dinner party.

Why It's So Fancy: Well for starters, it comes with "stirrup" cups shaped like woodland creatures, made by Gucci in the '70s.

Buy It For: Someone who'll invite you to the requisite shindig afterwards.

The Gift: A bejeweled letter opener.

Why It's So Fancy: It's composed of gold, tourmaline, emerald AND diamonds. Bonus: it's topped with a cute little bird head!

Buy It For: Whoever still sends letters?

The Gift: '50s-era Herm├Ęs cocktail stirrers.

Why It's So Fancy: Because 99.99 percent of the population just uses plastic straws.

Buy It For: Friends who throw yacht parties.

The Gift: Bookends decorated with falcons.

Why It's So Fancy: Along with having a princely stamp of approval, each bird is mounted in 18K gold and has real ruby eyes.

Buy It For: The falconer in your life. (You could also get him or her this.)

The Gift: A dollhouse that's cooler than your actual house.

Why It's So Fancy: It's floored with actual mahogany and limewood and furnished with working chandeliers.

Buy It For: Veruca Salt

The Gift: A Cartier bracelet in the brand's signature tiger motif.

Why It's So Fancy: Besides being one-of-a-kind, it cost more than most houses, so there's that.

Buy It For: Um, yourself? If you can, why not?

The Gift: Aww, a family of toy flamingos!

Why It's So Fancy: You could get roughly 14 Barbies for the same price instead.

Buy It For: Paris Hiltons in training.

The Gift: A Cruella de Vil-worthy Dalmatian print cape made of mink.

Why It's So Fancy: Because you can't exactly wear it with jeans.

Buy It For: Opera- and gala-goers.

The Gift: A replica of Sean Connery's lighter in the first James Bond movie, Dr. No.

Why It's So Fancy: It's a lighter. For almost $800.

Buy It For: The kind of dude that also owns a smoking slippers and a silk rope. (So Hugh Hefner?)